CAN YOU TOP THIS
14 MAY 1948
NBC Radio
Emcee: Dennis James
Joke teller: Peter Donald
Panel: Ward Wilson, Harry Hershfield, Joe Laurie Jr.
(hats, rivals, gossip, lectures)
ANNOUNCER: “Can You Top This?” presented by the Colgate-Palmolive Peet company , the makers of Colgate Dental Cream, to clean your breath while you clean your teeth and Palmolive brushless shave cream, for a smoother, more comfortable way to shave. And here’s Colgate-Palmolive Peet company’s master of ceremonies, Dennis James.
DENNIS JAMES: Well, good evening friends, welcome to “Can You Top This?” our unrehearsed witty whippersnappers with Ward Wilson pinch hitting for Senator Ford.
WARD WILSON: Yeah, good evening.
DJ: Harry Hershfield.
HARRY HERSHFIELD: Howdy.
DJ: And Joe Laurie Jr.
JOE LAURIE JR: Helloooo.
DJ: And here’s the people’s representative, our storytelling genius, Peter Donald, to tell the first joke of the evening, which comes from Mrs. I. Henrik of New York, New York. And it’s on the subject of hats, gentlemen. That covers just about everything. Go ahead, Peter Donald, take it.
PETER DONALD: Well, this is about a great big Amazon of a woman, and she’s picking on her husband, having an argument, and she said, “Hercules?” He says, “Yes, Petunia, what’s on your mind?” She says, “I’m really ashamed to go out with you anymore. I’m ashamed to walk with you on the street. Now look at the terrible looking hat that you’re wearing. I think it’s high time that you bought yourself a new one.” Well, he says, “Dear, I don’t want to get a hat. I got a swell hat now.” She said, “Well, maybe you like it, but don’t you think it’s a little outmoded with the ribbon around it that says, ‘Welcoome Home the Roughriders?’” She says, “I’ll tell you what I’m going to do. I will take you shopping with me today. We’ll go down to the hat store. The clerks are very efficient, very courteous. We’ll buy you a new hat.” So they go down to this hat store and the clerk, first of all, puts a fedora on the guy. He says, “Yeah, this is nice. With the blue ribbon. I’ll take this one.” She says, “No you won’t. No you won’t. You’ll find something much more distinguished. Clerk, would you bring some homburgs?” So they put about fifteen homburgs on the guy. He says, “Listen, I still like the one with the blue ribbon. If you don’t…” She says, “No, no, no. We’ll find something that’s very stylish.” So they start putting on this guy derbies and snap-brims and panamas and straw hats and everything like this, every kind of hat imaginable. At the finish he says, “Listen,” he says, “They’re all lovely hats, honey, but,” he says, “I want the little one with the blue ribbon.” She says, “Oh, very well. Alright, if you must have your way, we’ll take that one, but clerk,” she says, “Before you put in the hat in a box, would you kind cutting two holes in the brim?” He says, “Holes in the brim, madam? Why?” She says, “Because my husband is such a stubborn jackass he has to have holes for his ears.”
DJ: Alright, that Colgate-Palmolive Laugh Meter read a big round 1000, so we’ve got the thing all started for Mrs Hendrik. It’s an automatic twenty-five dollars. Our three wits will just have to try to tie it. And the first one is Ward Wilson, so go ahead, Ward.
WW: I was thinking of one. I don’t know whether this is… I’ll toss one in for nothing. One that I was thinking of first. The fellow that goes up to Bob Ripley’s office, “Believe it or Not.” And he has a stovepipe hat on that out-Lincolned Lincoln. It was up about two feet in the air. So he walked up to this dumb receptionist at the desk, bows very politely, and he took off this big high-topped hat, and there’s a bunch of tulips growing right out the top of his head. He says, “May I speak to you, miss?” She says, “Yeah, what do you want?”He says, “I would like to see Mr. Ripley, please.” She says, “Yeah, what about?” That’s the one I threw in, and you can throw it right out again.
DJ: Just go on like nothing happened, Ward. Just continue.
WW: I won’t wait, Denny.
DJ: Alright.
WW: This one’s about the goof that was going to go in the Army, and he hit one of those hard-boiled sergeants who was giving him an IQ test, and he went through a whole rigmarole with him. He said, “Now imagine you’re in actual combat, soldier.” He said, “Suppose a bullet whizzes by and takes off one of your ears. What would happen?” He says, “I go right on fighting.” He says, “Well, suppose you went right on fighting, then another bullet came along and shot off your other ear. What would happen?” He says, “I’d go blind.” He says, “You’d go blind? Why?” He says, “My hat would fall down over my eyes.”
DJ: That’s more like tooley tooley tooley tulip time, boy. That’s for 1000. That’s more like it. Alright. It’s little Joe Laurie Jr next.
JL: Well, this fellow comes into a hat store. And it’s kind of a goof. And this fellow says, “What can I do for you?” Says, “I’d like to get a hat.” Says, “You’ve come to the right place.” He says, “What size please?” He says, “Size eight.” He says, “Size eight. (Hums).” So his partner says, “We haven’t got an eight.” He says, “Shut up. (Hums) Try this on for size.” So he gives him a seven. He says, “That’s too small.” He says, “Push it down a little bit.” He says, “No, no, no.” He says, “Look, let me push it.” And he pushes it and pushes it. And the fellow says “Oh! Stop!” And the finally, pushing it way down, he says, “There. That fits you.” He says, “No, no. This thing is old. Give me a headache. Look, look, oh , it’s tight now.” He said, “Give it a little more push.” Pushes again. He says, “No, I don’t want to buy in here,” and he walks out. Well, the fellow says to his partner, says, “What did you do? What did you do to the customer? You knew we didn’t have a size eight.” And he says, “Is that so? Now we got a size eight!”
DJ: Okay, Joe. You know, I’ll tell you what the score it. It was 1000 on the Colgate Palmolive Laugh Meter, but I’m convinced so far at this point that only goofs buy hats or something.
HH: No, no. They’re all buying them now.
DJ: Okay, go ahead, Harry. You tell.
JL: Smart man!
HH: I got one about a goofy detective who owned a store that s…
DJ: There it is again!
HH: Throw this in first! A detective is taking a fellow to jail. So he’s walking him down the street. And when they get to a corner, a sudden wind comes up and takes the prisoner’s hat and blows it down the street, and the prisoner makes a lunge to go ahead and get it. He says, “No you don’t, wise guy.” He says to the prisoner, “You stand where you are. I’ll run and get it!” Well, I’ll tell now is a woman is walking down the street and a big flower pot from the fourth floor falls on her head. Wham! And the flowers and the leaves and the dirt got all over her face. She was naturally groggy for about three blocks with this flower pot and these things hanging all over her. That night, two women were discussing. One says, “Hmm. Is that Miss LaVere? Oh, boy, is she a dame. I saw her on the street today staggering with the lousiest hat you ever saw. Was she drunk?”
DJ: Okay, brother, that does it. That completes the first round, and checking over it, it’s a perfect round. Peter Donald got first one thousand followed by the three wits, and so we send Mrs Henrik twenty-five dollars with the compliments of Palmolive shave cream, plus a phonograph record of Peter Donald telling her story on the air. And now, here’s Dan Donaldson with the biggest shaving news in history.
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DJ: And now once again to continue our contest of wit and humor gentlemen. Here’s a joke which was sent in by Mrs. Harriet S. France of Harrisburg, Pennsylvania. It’s on the subject of rivals. You all have it?
JL: Rifles?
DJ: No, rivals. You know, enemies, teams, and competition. Anything like that.
JL: Oh, oh, oh.
DJ: Peter, you have it, don’t you?
PD: Yeah.
DJ: Take it.
PD: It seems that in a little town in Ireland there lived two men who were both in love with the same girl. One of these guys was named Red McGonagall. Oh, he had a flaming mop of hair, looked like an evening sunset on a bowl of borsht this thing, this great mop of flaming hair, and this other fellow was a little fellow by the name of Baldy Branigan. And he had one of those scalps with Sealing Zero, you know, on it. This guy looked like a Hibernian Honeydew. No hair at all. So one night they’re standing down as usual in the corner saloon down at Clancy’s Copacablarney down there and they’re having a couple of beers, and they get to arguing about the girl. And big Red says, “Listen, you little weasel.” He says, “It comes to me ears that you’ve been taking out Mary Ellen again. Well, she’s practically engaged to me. I don’t want you to do it no more. Do you hear that?” So Baldy looks up at him. He says, “Oh, is that so? Is that so? Oh, listen to the man, will you?” He says, “Why you big fat covered baboon, I’ll take Mary Ellen out any time I please.” Well, he says, “You will, will you? Why you little bald weasel.” He says, “For the life of me I can’t see how she goes out with the likes of you. You with the devil a hair on your head.” He says, “You know you look as bald as a shillelagh? I’d like to ask you one thing. Where in the name of goodness were you when they were handing out hair?” The other guy says, “Where was I? Where was I when they was handing out hair?” He says, “Me boy, I’ll tell you.” He says, “I was around with the rest of them, but I told them I didn’t want any hair because the only color they had left was like yours!”
DJ: The score on the Colgate-Palmolive Laugh Meter 1000, Peter, so you’re out in front there for Mrs France. Let’s see who’s first. Joe Laurie Jr is first.
JL: Well, Pete reminded of one about two Irishmen. This I’m throwing in for nothing, Dennis.
DJ: Okay.
JL: This is for free. This fellow says… Cassidy meets Finnegan. He says, “Finnegan,” he says, “I hear Pat took your girl away.” He says, “He did that. He did that. It was a case of incompatibility.” He says, “What do you mean, incompatibility?” He says, “Well, you see, I was kissing Mary Ellen, and in come pat, and he had more ability.”
DJ: You threw that in?
JL: I like those kind. I enjoy. Now, the one I want to tell is about this fellow who’s on a buying trip in New York, and he’s buying coats for his firm, and he goes all over. He finally gets into one man’s place. He says, “How much are the coats?” He says, “By the dozen?” He says, “Yes. By the dozen.” He says, “I’m wholesale.” He says, “A hundred dollars a dozen for you.” “A hundred dollars a dozen?” He says, “You know that rival place across the street? Selling the coats for fifty dollars a dozen.” He says, “The same coat?” He says, “Yes, the same coat for fifty dollars a dozen.” He says, “It’s a lie!” He says, “Alright, it’s a lie. But it’s cheap, ain’t it?”
DJ: Well, the price might have been low, Joe, but the Colgate Palmolive Laugh Meter was up high. It was a 1000. Harry Hershfield, you’re next.
HH: Well, of course there’s no rivalry as among salesmen. That’s more than any. So a fellow comes into a store, a business concern, and he said, “I’d like to get a job here as a salesman.” Fellow said, “Are you a good salesman?” He says, “I am the best salesman in the world.” Well, he said, “That’s a big thing if you say you’re the best salesman in the world.” Well, he says, “I’ll test it. You see these big box of cigars that I got here? I’ve had them here now for one year. Go out and sell these.” He said, “Alright, I’ll take them out.” So every place he went with the cigars says, “Take those stinkeroos out of here.” No place could he sell the cigars. After four hours he came back and he said, with the cigars, he said, “I’ve got one little correction to make. I am not the best salesman in the world. I am the second best salesman. The guy who sold you these stinking cigars -- he’s the best salesman!”
DJ: Harry, you proved that you’re a salesman. You sure sold the gag. One thousand. That leave you, Ward, with another perfect round in the making.
WW: Oh, that’s all I have to do, eh?
DJ: Yup.
WW: By the way, I’m going in the Audobon for my… I’m thinking of another kind of a rivalry. This woman had two parrots. One was very talkative and very cute. The other one never said a thing, but they were great pals in the same room. And the non-talkative parrot died. So she was in a jam. The other parrot wouldn’t talk. He missed his mate around there. So she went down to the pet store and she said, “I’d like to get another parrot, preferably one that doesn’t talk to match up with the bird that I have.” She said, “He’s so cute.” She said, “He’s developed one trait. Every time a man comes in the house he looks around and he says, ‘Oh, somebody’s going to get kissed tonight.’” And she said, I just can’t get anything out of it since the other parrot died.” He said, “Well, I don’t happen to have a parrot on hand.” He said, “You could take this owl over here for a few days and then bring him back and I’ll trade him.” So she said, “Alright, I’ll do that.” She she took the own home and she put it in the cage that was formerly occupied by the other parrot, and the parrot immediately took a terrific dislike to this owl. Kept looking over at him all the time wondering what that was in the other cage. So that evening the doorbell rang and the woman went to the door, opened the door, and a man walked in, and the parrot perked up its ears, looked around, and said, “Oh! Somebody’s going to get kissed tonight!” With that, the owl looked around, says, “Who?” Parrot looked back and he said, “No you, you flat-faced son of a gun!”
DJ: Well, it’s all according to which punchline we count, Ward. But it makes no difference, because the first one got a 1000 and the followup line got a 1000 too, so that was more than a perfect round. We had five 1000s in it. We’re going to send Mrs. France twenty-five dollars with the compliments of Palmolive Shave Cream, plus a phonograph record of Peter Donald telling her story on the air. Now, boys, before we go into the next round, I’d like to take the time to talk to the people for a little while. Before we go into it I’d like to ask all of you to compete in this weekly gagfest. All jokes told by Peter Donald have been submitted by our listeners. So send your favorite joke to “Can You Top This?” care of NBC New York, or the station to which you are listening. Of course, in cases of similarity, we’ll have to be the sole judges of who is paid. In every case, the decision of the judges is final. Laughs are registered on the big Colgate-Palmolive Laugh Meter in full view of the studio audience. Our three wits have no scripts. They rely on memory and ability to switch jokes to make them fit the subject. Alright, now let’s continue with the laughs. The next joke comes from Mrs. Lillian H. Appleton of Brookline, Massachusetts, and it’s on the subject of gossip. We’ll get a lot of female impersonations now, I’ll bet. Try it, Peter Donald.
PD: Well, this happened in a little southern town and Sam met Willy. He said, “Hello there, Willy.” He said, “Boy, congratulate me. Slip me a handful of fingers, man.” “Congratulate you? Man, you crazy? What for?” Well there, he says, “Son, I can see you don’t listen to the gossip around. You don’t read the society columns..” He says, “You looking at a man what just got married again.” He says, “Boy, you fooling with me? Who’s going to marry an old widower like you with eight children?” Well, he said, “I done made the happiest woman in the world out of the widow Oglethorpe. She done got nine children herself.” He says, “Boy, you call that a marriage?” Well, he said, “What else is it?” He says, “Man, when a fellow with eight children marries a woman with nine children, son, that ain’t no marriage, that’s a merger.”
DJ: Well, I heard your merger, Pete. One thousand on the Colgate-Palmolive Laugh Meter. That puts you out in front. Who have we got here? One hand up and it belongs to Harry Hershfield.
HH: I want to throw this in quick. I heard that there was a scandal in a radio studio the other day. They caught a disk jokey trying to dope a record. Well, a goofy old one is about the.. On a hot summer’s day in an asylum, in a goofy joint, there’s a fellow, kind of a goofy guy with a bucket of green paint, and he’s painting the grass with the green paint. So a fellow coming along with an automobile sees that, says, “What are you doing there?” He says, “There’s nothing wrong with me. Ain’t nothing wrong at all.” He said, “I’m just, so they know where I am, but I’m here for another purpose. I heard some historians the other day. They were gossiping and talking about that right on this place is gold buried -- buried a long time ago.” And he said, “Of course, I can’t get away,” But he said, “If you want to go ahead and get it, and I’ll give you all the directions, you go over there and get it,” and, he said, “We’ll split fifty-fifty.” He said, “From what I heard them say, it’s there. You go 150 feet straight, then you turn for 30 feet right, and then you turn left and you’ll see a tree, then ten feet from the tree and you dig down 25 feet and 40 feet wide.” So the fellow goes and then comes back in about eight hours. “Pshew!” He said, “I didn’t find any gold.” He said, “I dug there 150 feet. I dug the 25 feet, the 40 feet, and there was no gold.” He said, “You did it?” He said, “Yes.” He says, “Take a brush, brother. Start painting with me!”
DJ: You dood it too! One oh oh oh. 1000. Put too many ohs in there, I think. Go ahead, Ward, you take it.
WW: I’m thinking about what happened to my wife and I on our honeymoon when we went down to the Virgin Islands in January and got down to the Blackbeard Castle Inn down in St Thomas. And the little colored fellow was a wonderful servant down there, he did everything for us. Met us at the airport. So before we got up to the hotel, I said, “Now, Sam, when we get up to the hotel, be sure you take all those labels off the bags and don’t be gossiping around the place about us being just married or anything. Just keep your mouth shut. Don’t tell anybody we’re married and get all signs of it out of the way, will you?” He says, “Yessir, Mr. Wilson, I’ll do that.” So we get up to the hotel, unpack, and we’re there a couple of days, and every time we came out for meals, people were in little cliques, gossiping and you know that doubletalk that they give behind your back. Nobody said, “Hello, how are you? How do you do?” or anything. So after two days of that I finally got Sam aside. I said, “Sam, what’s the matter with you? I specifically when we landed we didn’t want to be known as newlyweds down here. I asked you please not to tell anybody we were married and obviously you have.” He says, “No, sir, Mr Wilson,that ain’t right. Just the opposite is true. I been telling everybody you’re just good friends, that’s all.”
DJ: I’m just waiting till the honeymoon is over, Ward, that’s all. One thousand. Joe, you got a topper for that one?
JL: I don’t know about a topper. I’m glad to even think of one. But here’s one for free too. This is bargain night. I don’t care. Mrs Casey and Mrs Doyle meet and so Mrs Casey says to Mrs Doyle, “Nice way you’ve been gossiping about me.” She says, “What do you mean, gossiping about you? She says, “You’re telling everybody I’m a dirty housekeeper.” Say, “I did not.” She says, “You certainly did. The gossip is all over the neighborhood that I’m a dirty housekeeper.” She says, “I didn’t say that at all.” “So what did you say?” She says, “I said -- All I said was that if I was a roach I would know where to live!” But the one I wanted to tell about the goof. His father comes home and he says, “I’m ashamed of you, son.” He says, “I”m shamed of you.” He says, “What’s the matter, Pop?” He says, “Oh, it’s the gossip all over the neighborhood. All you’re thinking about is women, women. Morning, noon, and night all you talking about is women. Thinking women, women. It’s all you’ve got on your mind. Can’t you have anything else on your mind?” He says, “Yeah. Busses.” He says, “Why busses?” He says, “Because there’s women on them!”
DJ: Yeah, I know, Joe. I know. You like those kind.
HH: He’s the one who does.
DJ: Well, he did it, though. Busses or no busses it was a one…
JL: Had to take a bus. It had to reach a thousand!
DJ: It was another one thousand, another perfect round. So we’re sending Mrs. Appleton twenty-five dollars with the compliments of Colgate Dental Cream plus a phonograph record of Peter Donald telling the story on the air.And now here’s Ron Rossen with an important message.
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DJ: Alright, gentlemen, if you’re all ready, we’ll start again. Here’s a joke sent in by Maurice Cyr -- I’m going to spell that because I don’t want to mispronounce anyone’s name. It’s C Y R. I believe it’s pronounced Cyr. --of Westport, Connecticut. It’s on the subject of lectures. So start lecturing, Peter Donald.
PD: Well, it’s about a well-known explorer and a world traveller, Sir Cummerbund Upcreek, and he’s talking at a ladies club one day. And as he gets to the close of his address, he says, “Now, ladies, I have described the wonders of the globe to you, and I have described all the strange habits of the various peoples of the continents of the world, including the mystic habits and customs of that little group that lives in territory known as Yob Erutan. Yob Erutan. That’s “nature boy” spelled backwards. Now that I’m concluding my lecture on the landmarks of the world I should like to ask some questions. Is there anyone here who can name some of the historic landmarks and wonders of the world..” So in the back of the room little Mrs Puputnik put up her hand, and she said, “Ohh, professor, ohh!” She said, “I could name you a couple things.” “Very well, madam, will you try please?” Well, she says, “First, up in Egypt, it’s right on the edge of the Hershfield Desert.” He says, “The what? The Hershfield Desert?” She said, “Yeah, yeah. That’s the Sahara they got over there. The Sahara.” She says, “They got a monument there. They call it the -- you should excuse the expression -- sphinx.” And, she says, “This is looking sort of like a tiger, until you come up to the front, it’s turning into a beautiful girl with bobbed hair. Looks like a pussycat is swallowing Lana Turner or something. It’s very beautiful.” He says, “That’s very good. Now, can you name any other wonders of the world?” He said, “Any of the famous towers?” “Yeah,” she said, “I could. Also they got in London a tower and by Paris is also a tower and they got likewise a tower in a place called Pisa.” He says, “That’s right.” He says, “That’s the leaning tower. Now,” he says, “Madam, can you tell me what makes it lean?” She said, “Oi, is that a dopey question? Woo, is that a doozy!” He says, “Why is it, as you say, a dopey question?” She says, “What makes the tower lean?” She says, “Listen, buster. I weigh 230 pounds. If I knew what made the tower lean I would take some myself, believe me!”
DJ: Well, Pete, you made the joke good and fat and good and solid for 1000. So Mist… (Audience continues laughing) I’ll wait till they get the lean… the Tower of Pisa out of the system first. Pete, did you get the score? I know that was a very good and solid laugh. Did you get it? It was a 1000. So you can just settle back and relax. Mr. Cyr is in for 25 bucks, sir. First it’s Ward Wilson.
WW: I was thinking of the fellow in the penal institution who was a pretty good guy to have around the place, except that he had one terrible habit and seemed to have been incorrigible with it. Every time they’d give him a prison uniform they’d come by at the end of the day and he had it all ripped to shreds , all torn to pieces, and they give him a new uniform the next day. Did his work alright but by nighttime they come back and his prison uniform’s all torn to shreds again. So they finally went to the chaplain of the prison and said, “Why don’t you go down and talk to this man? See if you can’t do something with him.” So he went down to the cell and he said, “Now, look, Charlie,” he said, “You’ve been a good member of our little community here,” he said, “You’ve done your work well and you’re coming along fine -- except that this tearing of uniforms must stop.” He said, “You’re wasting all the taxpayers’ money, and it isn’t doing you any good.” He said, “I’ll make you this promise. If you go along without tearing your uniforms for a while now, we’ll make you a trustee and then you’ll be able to go around the grounds and have some freedom.” He says, “Alright.” So Monday they watched his cell and by evening -- same uniform, perfect. Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, well, everybody was feeling very good about the whole thing. Sunday evening they went to check up on his cell. Here’s the uniform all torn to shreds again. The chaplain from the prison came down and said, “Now, Charlie, look. All week long you’ve been wonderful. You’ve kept your uniforms. We come down tonight. You’ve spoiled the whole thing, tearing this thing all in shreds again. Why do you do that? He says, “What do you mean? I gotta work on Sunday too?”
DJ: Well, he only got paid half pay, Ward. It was 500 on the 1000…
WW: I’ll settle.
DJ: …meter, yes.Alright. Let’s see. Who’s next? No hands? Yes, yes. Belongs to Joe Laurie Jr. Go ahead.
JL: Well, this woman was lecturing a little class and a lot of little kids on the lower east side. And we was lecturing about mothers. And she says, “Mother is the foundation of the home. A mother is the soul and heart of the home. What is stronger than mother’s love?” And the kid jumps up and says, “Father’s breath!”
DJ: Nothing stronger than your gag either, Joseph. The Colgate-Palmolive Laugh Meter said a 1000, and Harry, it’s your turn to take it.
HH: Finnegan was going to go to a lecture -- a historical lecture. So he read the encyclopedia to get some facts. And they were offering prizes. And finally they said to Finnegan, this lecturer said, “Who built the pyramids, when, and where?” He says, “Menecles, five thousand years ago, fourth dynasty Egypt.” Lecturer says, “Who was the foreman on that job?” Finnegan thought a minute. Says, “Night or day shift?”
DJ: You guys are going back to the Middle Ages, prehistoric days for these gags, and they’re coming out alright. Harry, that was a big round 1000 on the Colgate Palmolive Laugh meter too. So that completes another round. Of course, Pete got a 1000 for Mr. Cyr first, so we’re going to send Mr. Cyr twenty-five dollars with the compliments of Colgate Dental Cream plus a phonograph record of Peter Donald telling his story on the air. I want to congratulate you gentlemen. You really did a job tonight.
JL: I want to congratulate you too. You did a good job too, Dennis. A very good job.
DJ: That does it. Join “Can You Top This?” friends, originated by Senator Ford, next week, same time, same gang, other jokes, some new, some old. Until then, we remain yours for bigger and better laughs --
WW: Ward Wilson for Senator Ford.
HH: Harry Hershfield.
JL: Joe Laurie Jr.
PD: Peter Donald.
DJ: Dennis James.
DD: And Dan Donaldson saying goodnight for the Colgate-Palmolive Peet Company, makers of Colgate Dental Cream, to clean your breath while you clean your teeth, and Palmolive Brushless Shave Cream, for smoother, more comfortable way to shave.
(Music)
ANNOUNCER :For soft, glamorous dream girl hair, try Luster Cream shampoo. Not a soap, not a liquid, but a dainty new cream shampoo, in tubes or jars, whichever your prefer. Be a dream girl, a Luster cream girl.
SINGER: Dream girl, dream girl, beautiful Luster Cream girl, you owe your crowning glory to a Luster Cream shampoo
ANNOUNCER: Be sure to tune into Judy Canova and the old professor Kay Keiser over most of these same stations tomorrow night. This is NBC, the National Broadcasting Company.